One of the many cool things about my job is that for a lot of it I get to do whatever I want. One thing I did recently was interview female developers to ask them what it felt like to be a woman in a male-dominated field. I ended up talking to four women at different stages of their careers. I was curious because soon I am going to be one of these women, and I want to know what to expect. I am apprehensive for a lot of reasons that I have found I have a hard time articulating. I was hoping I could gain clarity, maybe a sense of solidarity, and best case scenario reassurance through other people’s perspectives.
I was nervous. I’m not an expert, and I didn’t have a relationship with any of them going into these interviews. I was worried that they wouldn’t want to risk discussing a “taboo” topic. And it’s a sad state of affairs when acknowledging reality is something that could be considered damaging information by their employers. Some were very honest with me right away and others never really opened up.
Both of the younger women that I interviewed talked more about men, how to navigate dealing with both peers and higher-ups. I was surprised that the women further along in their careers that I interviewed both mentioned other women, how they have seen that women being harder on each other in these male-dominated spaces. And all four, when asked what they would like to see changed in their industry, answered immediately that they would like to see more women entering their field. If you want to read the article in its entirety you can find it here.
So where are they? Why in the tech industry 75% male?
When I was studying chemistry, I gravitated towards the few other women in my classes, spending most of my time studying with them. It wasn’t something I did consciously, but I didn’t have the time or energy to work with men, because it always involved proving myself, repeating myself, and being ignored.
When I was in school I worked in a marine acoustics lab, and I was one of two women in my department. Once I moved into environmental consulting I worked at a company where one of the founders was a woman and my direct supervisor was a woman, and it mattered. The difference in management style and representation had a palpable effect on the work that was being done there.
I’ve always been outspoken, stubborn, and good at math and science. Because it’s not enough to be good at what you do, you also have to be able to fight for yourself. To even show up at the same table as men I have to work harder, go farther, and state my point louder. And that matters. It’s damaging and it’s tiring. It’s one thing to achieve something, to fight and then win. It’s another thing to have to prove yourself every single day. For a woman in a male-dominated industry, there is no such thing as arriving. You can’t demonstrate your abilities and then be treated with respect from that point on. You’re still a woman so you’re still viewed through that lens.
In it’s most reductive form, the message we receive our entire lives is that women aren’t as smart or as good or as hardworking as men. In my experiences in male-dominated spaces, this message is amplified. I am hyper-aware of the differences between men and women and in these spaces, I am facing judgment not just against the men I have worked with, but also against the women, and against myself. The ideas that make up society also make up the individual. I think these ideas are even more toxic when they become a part of how you think. They are so ingrained they are hard to identify.
For me, the most beneficial part of the interviews was hearing that I’m not alone. That other women have gone through similar experiences and been successful. That woman can and should compete on their own terms, that women are different from men, and that makes them better at their jobs, not worse.
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